10 things I learned in 21 months of breastfeeding

Our breastfeeding journey ended shortly after Harry turned 21 months: a huge period of stress meant that my letdown was severely affected and Harry chose to self wean. I still feel conflicted about it - like I should have persevered, or done something to make it better but in actual fact I was a little relieved. Don't get me wrong, I loved feeding Harry - and the bond we share from that is so special, but I was ready to stop. And that's important - breastfeeding is a relationship and both parties have to be happy with it for it to be successful.

I am incredibly proud of my achievement however. I worked so, so hard to establish breastfeeding, and then to eliminate all Harry's allergens from my diet. Obviously it's no more than millions of women all over the world do every day, but for me it was something I wanted to do and something I'm happy I persevered at.

Over the 21 months I fed Harry, I learnt loads - about my body, and about his. It's a shame some of that knowledge isn't on the curriculum in schools as it would have been far more useful to me than trigonometry has ever proven to be (I can assure you my husband is gasping in shock at that statement). I thought I'd collect some of that knowledge here today to pass it on, in the spirit of 'it takes a village to raise a child' It's just this village is virtual.

1. Breastfeeding is hard. At first. Give it at least 6 weeks to get latch and positioning sorted. Give yourself that time to adjust - it's a whole new skill that you and the baby have to learn, and quickly. After (roughly) six weeks it gets massively easier, and then at three months most people hit their stride. Harry was born in June and by October we were off shields and feeding on demand as, when and where necessary.  
2. Netflix/ Amazon Prime/ Iplayer/ All 4/ Box sets are your friend. Furnish yourself with plenty and cwtch down for the ride. Personally I skipped over the kind of programmes that teach you things, or that enable self reflection or personal development and went straight for the trash: Vampire diaries, Once upon a Time, Orange is the New Black, Lucifer, The Following, Man in the High Castle, Outlander, Big Bang Theory and Melissa and Joey. Yes, trash. 
3. I didn't really get on with nursing covers - I always felt it drew attention to what I was doing in a way I didn't really want. However, massive muslins were my friend if I did feel that it was more appropriate to cover up a bit - at least until Harry was about 5 months old and played peekaboo with the vicar at church with it. And yes, he was latched on at the time. 
4. Nursing clothes - a lot of the time I just popped a vest top under whatever shirt, t-shirt or jumper I wanted to chuck on. That said, I had a few nursing tops - including a beautiful one from Frugi, that really did help with feeding in public and feeling more comfortable. I like stripes, but beware that for some reason people that make nursing clothes thing all breastfeeding mothers are blooming in Breton! 
5. Advice - now, ironically I guess as I'm giving advice here (well - I prefer to think of it as sharing knowledge) I found it helpful to smile, nod and ignore a lot of the (unsolicited) advice I was given. It's worth remembering that if you're in your thirties like me, our mother's generation were educated by health professionals who were heavily encouraged to push formula. The perception that scientific formula had to be better than breast milk was (and sadly, is) very common. La leche league, NCT and our breastfeeding support workers were where I got good advice from. Midwives, well meaning friends and relatives, people on the bus less so. Do your own research, seek out support. 
6. Babies have tiny, tiny tummies - in the early days it's the same size as a marble. This means that they need to fill it frequently, as it empties quickly. This is not a sign that your milk isn't good enough, or that you're not producing enough. Babies are supposed to feed all the time. The reason we don't think this is because of the history in the UK of formula, given in too large quantities, stretches baby's tummy. This takes a long time to break down, so they sleep heavily while their body focuses on doing that. If you're formula feeding, which is both a necessary and entirely valid choice (not that you need me to tell you that) for many, many women - please consider looking up paced feeding. 
7. Your supply increases when your baby makes it. So, in the early days you'll suddenly have a day, pinned to the sofa when baby wants to feed for hours (or for ever). What he's doing is putting in his order for the days to come. Telling your body, he's growing and needs more milk. You then produce milk in larger quantities for him. How amazing is that! So cluster feeds are nothing to do with you not producing enough milk - but your little one's way of ensuring you are. 
8. Your diet does not have to be perfect - far from it. Eat what you can, when you can. Sure a diet of Dominoes and Macdonalds isn't going to do anyone any favours in the long term, but contrary to what people tell us - it doesn't affect your milk which is actually made from our blood not our digestive system. Drink plenty of fluids, eat regularly and keep on feeding. 
9. You can have a drink. Now I'm not talking about binge drinking on a Friday night, but if you'd like a glass of wine, or a G&T or a pint of cider you can. There is more alcohol in an orange than in your breastmilk after an alcoholic drink. Drink responsibly - you're caring for a baby after all, and need to ensure you're safe to do so. But a glass of wine with your dinner won't hurt baby. There's also no need after that drink to 'pump and dump' as previously believed. 
10. It's actually really rare (in my experience) at least that people comment on breastfeeding in public. I've fed in church, on a train, in too many coffee shops and cafes to count, at Wembley stadium, in a Slimming World meeting, at Carfest, on the beach, on Brownie holiday and Guide camp, and in several meetings about redundancy.  No one has ever commented to me, or even in my hearing. The worst thing I ever had was at a friend's wedding when the staff suggested (when I asked if there was anywhere comfortable I could breastfeed) that I used the accessible toilet. No thank you.
11. OK. I know I said 10, but I forgot about this. Enjoy this time. Now I know that breastfeeding isn't the only way to bond with your baby, but it's one on one time you have together. Time you can't get back - now with a rampaging toddler, who never sits still  - I miss those quiet moments, just drinking Harry in from the top of his head to the tips of his eyelashes to his tiny toes. He used to hold onto my finger while feeding and at that moment, nothing else in life mattered. Nothing. 

Why not pin this post for later?

So it's been suggested you go dairy free to help your baby... What now?

It's been suggested that your baby has a Cow's Milk Protein Allergy - and you're breastfeeding. What do you do now? This post is for you the mama, not the bubba - I can do another one covering that. Also have a listen to my podcasts as they're just more chatty introductions to CMPA.

It's nearly a year since the revelatory day when we got our CMPA diagnosis and I started my exclusion diet. I was reading the CMPA support group this morning and thought I could have really done with an idiots guide at that time. So that's what I'm going to try and put together today. Not because you're an idiot, but because if you're stressed, tired, sleep deprived and anxious then sometimes it's easier when things are spelled out in black and white.

Time - It takes between 4-6 weeks for allergens to leave your system completely so your baby's symptoms might not improve immediately. That said, we saw reductions in vomitting day by day and by the second week had a weight gain of 11oz. Keep going, I know it's frustrating and hard work, but what if it works?

Alternative milks - Having tried a lot (to save you the pain) I've come to this conclusion. Unsweetened almond milk tastes most like skimmed milk, Oatly in the blue carton is most like whole milk. Making hot chocolate with hazelnut milk does not equal something akin to Nutella. Sad times people. Sad times. Almond milk works well on cereal, in porridge, and in baking. Make sure whatever milk substitute you use is fortified.


Tea, coffee and hot drinks - I haven't found any alternative milk that makes a cup of tea I can stomach, so in a decision that I'm surprised didn't make the 6 o'clock news I gave up tea. I now drink black coffee - mainly decaf (and I used this post from Helen to make cold brew coffee which was a revelation in the summer) as I'm still breastfeeding, but I do have the occasional mug of really yummy proper coffee. And love it. Rooibos tea is lovely, and I drink lots of the spicy flavours of Yogi teas. I have heard that Galaxy make a hot chocolate (oddly one of the make with milk ones) that's dairy and soya free - I fully intend to try that made with Chocolate Oatly.

Free From sections in the supermarket - If you want my honest opinion, they're not really developed with us in mind. They're heavily focused towards people with coeliac disease and gluten allergies, the products are very expensive, and once you get your head around obsessive label reading you can shop in the usual aisles fairly easily. Also... DON'T GO MAD ON SOYA! Not even the wonderful Alpro soya chocolate puddings *weeps* Soya proteins are really similar to cow's milk protein strands and lots of babies can't tolerate either.

Your calcium levels - this was raised with me by our dietician. As women of childbearing age we must be wary of reducing calcium levels if we're excluding dairy. There are lots of non dairy sources of calcium: dark leafy green veggies, tinned sardines, figs, oranges, and oily fish are all good sources of calcium. That said, I wasn't sure how much was 'enough' so our dietician gave me a copy of this document which showed me I needed 21 stars. You can get a supplement prescribed from your GP but do make sure it's compatible with any other allergies. As an aside, I like the Tropicana fortified orange juice.

Cheese, chocolate... what is it for you? A year ago I'd have said it was the chocolate, but it's the savouriness of a mozzarella panini I miss, or the luxury of a baked camembert spiked with garlic, the simplicity of going to the fridge and having strong cheddar sarnies with tomatoes from the garden.  There will be something. Something that just occaisionaly makes you question your sanity for doing this, and then you look at your increasingly chubby bubba, smile and remember why. But it is there. Find a substitute you love. Not something you tolerate, but love. For me it's Ritter marzipan sport, Sainsbury's sell it for £1, and it hits the spot every time. I can't get on with Violife, (Harry loves it) so have filed cheese away for now. Bourbon biscuits are also a winner, only the cheap ones mind you - but for me, they're perfect with a coffee and an episode of Once Upon a Time on Netflix while Harry naps.

Take your glasses shopping - Read the labels, every time. This post on bread goes into in a bit more depth, but not every brand will publicise a change in recipe and the bread that was fine last week, can contain dairy or soya 7 days later. The aforementioned Bourbon biscuits are a case in point - some say on the label (Asda, I think) that they're 'not suitable for milk allergy sufferers' others will just list allergens. Now is also the time to learn about food labels. The top 14 allergens are now (by law) listed in bold if they're contained in a food.  Oh and some wine contains milk - no I have no idea why either.

Get assertive - bolshy, confident... whatever you want to call it. You've been the person that will have seen your child at his or her worst, it's in your power to not let him get that way again. Don't shy away from going out for that cup of coffee, meal with your partner, or to that family party... but say - I need to be dairy free. I always offer to bring something for myself to people's houses - and my dairy free baking goes down well with everyone. In restaurants and cafes I've rarely ended up with nothing.  In France the lovely waitress went and asked the chef to alter a dish so I could eat it. Be polite, friendly - ask to see the allergy folder (they should show you). Or if you're nervous like I am, contact people in advance, either by phone, email, twitter or Facebook and explain the situation. All the food at Harry's birthday party was safe for him - not one person questioned (or noticed) the lack of dairy, eggs, soya or strawberries).

Food wise - what does your family like to eat? Don't throw your family favourites out of the window... get familiar with some of my useful substitutions

Butter - Vitalite or Pure dairy free spreads
Milk - Almond, or Oatly
Cheese - Violife
Jus-Rol pastry (not the all butter version) is dairy free
If you'd previously have added cream or soft cheese to a sauce - try Oatly creamy oat instead.

If you're a lover of takeaways, again - don't be afraid to ask. Our local chip shop is amazing, I have given up on Chinese takeaway, but I know people who've had success with Indian food. So it is possible.

There's so much more I could write - but I wanted this post to be accessible and not dreary. If you have any non medical questions then just post in the comments and I'll do what I can to answer them. Also, if you've got any foodie hints or tips you've discovered since starting your ecvlusion diet, post those too and I'll include some in a future post.

Weaning breakfasts for a CMPI baby - pancakes, porridge fingers and frittatas

That's a bit of a mouthful for a post title, but to coin a phrase, it does what it says on the tin. I've been asked a few times lately what I give Harry for breakfasts given his allergies (dairy and soya). These are our go-to baby led weaning breakfasts at the moment, so I thought I'd do a summary post as a kind of touch point for anyone looking for inspiration generally or for CMPI babies specifically.

Harry is still breastfed, but following an appointment with the paediatrician where he commented on how run down and exhausted I looked, it was suggested that I give myself a break and instead of expressing every day, supplement with nutramigen. Anyone who knows me will know that I railed against mixed feeding in hospital - I really wanted to exclusively breastfeed, but after 6 months something had to give and supplementing with one bottle a night, and using formula for Harry's food hasn't been the end of the world. I'm still a bit sad and wish things were different, but he's doing really well and that's what's important. Not what I want, what's best for him.

I am now completely dairy and soya free, and the formula we're using is Nutramigen which we get on prescription. Harry is still sick on the formula, but nothing like he was before I was dairy free and he's rarely sick on breastmilk now.

Anyway, onto meals. Breakfasts are my favourite meal to do for Harry. I tend to stick with porridge and fruit for my breakfast so it's nice to be a bit creative with his. We rotate his options as I try to keep things interesting for him. Yes, I know I'm probably overthinking this.

Easy breakfasts: 

• Toast (read the ingredients) with Pure spread
• Fruit bread (read the ingredients) with Pure spread
• Ready brek made up with Nutramigen and half a small banana mashed in

 Cooked breakfasts:

• Porridge fingers - I've already posted the recipe I use for these. Harry loves them. Loves feeding himself with them and seems to really enjoy the variations. I've done sultanas, blueberries, just banana, and spiced them with cinammon, sweet mixed spice, or a little nutmeg. Again, we're using Nutramigen for these.
• Pancakes - I've posted the recipe I use for these on Instagram but see below for the details
• Frittatas - these are completely dairy free, and I pop in whatever we have in the fridge, so little bits of chopped ham (obviously watch salt intake if you're using ham), or cooked mushrooms are Harry's favourites. If I had some peppers I'd lightly fry those too. Recipe to follow in the next post. I'll add the link here.

 Fruity additions:

•  Half a banana - I think that Harry's not always keen on the taste of banana, but likes holding it and chomping on it.
• Pear slices - with pear I make sure it's nice and ripe, and I leave the skin on so he can hold it as Harry doesn't eat the skin, just sort of sucks the pear away from it
• Apple slices - I tend to eat Granny Smiths, or if I can find them at this time of year, Russets - Harry likes both of these, but likes to suck and chomp on Granny Smiths when his teeth are hurting him.
• Lightly stewed mixes of any of the above, but left lumpy so he can feed himself if I pre-load the spoon.  If I'm stewing the fruit I tend to do so in a little water and add some chopped prunes as apples especially can be quite tart and as I know that Harry has a sensitive tummy I don't want to aggravate it. He loves anything with prunes in!

Baby breakfast pancakes

I make a batch of these (around 11 from this much mix) at a time and freeze them, separated by squares of greaseproof paper so that I can grab one in the morning and pop it in the microwave to defrost while I drink my coffee and Harry and I have a little play.

For this recipe you will need: 

1 mug - any mug will do, but you need to use the same one
Frying pan - I use a non-stick one
Spatula
Whisk/ beaters/ stick blender

1 mug self raising flour
1 mug oat/ almond milk or your babies formula/ breastmilk
1 apple or pear grated
1 egg

In a big bowl, add the flour, milk, grated fruit and egg
Whisk together until bubbly
Put your non stick pan on the heat (I spray with fry light to get it started) and when warm add 2 tablespoons or so of mixture. I can fit three pancakes of this size in my pan
Cook until the top is bubbly, then use your spatula to flip them over, and again cook until bubbly.
I often cook each side again for a minute or so to make sure they're cooked through

Variations - we've added blueberries, slices of banana, and sultanas all with success.

How do you like your eggs at lunchtime? Fridge bottom chilli spiked eggs

As I'm trundling through this dairy free process I'm not just bemoaning a lack of tea, but also it seemed that all my quick, go-to whilst breastfeeding, can be eaten with one hand lunches contained cheese, or milk, or chocolate. Digestives, mainly chocolate digestives. New options needed to be found, options with flavour.

Last week, I had half a packet of wholewheat pittas leftover from some earlier homous and pretty much nothing else in for lunch. A quick scour of the cupboards showed that we were out of pasta and similarly the fridge had some brocolli, a lot of milk (we must change the order with the milkman) all the bits of cheese I can't eat and some jelly I'd made the night before. As I'm pretty sure that jelly doesn't constitute the sort of balanced diet you need while breastfeeding, I did that thing of checking the cupboards again and decided on eggs. I normally scramble eggs with milk and butter, but in the absence of these just popped a little olive oil in the pan. Veg wise I literally used up what we had, but if we'd had mushrooms or ham would have happily added those into the mix - this is an ideal, fridge bottom dish.

Fridge bottom chilli spiked eggs

3 eggs, beaten lightly
Salt & pepper
1/4 red, green and yellow pepper
1 tsp olive oil
 Wholewheat pitta toasted
Tabasco sauce
Red chilli

Chop your red chilli and peppers into a fine dice, and gently cook in a small frying pan in the olive oil until just softened
Beat the eggs into a jug and season with salt and pepper
Add the eggs to the veggies and stir until cooked through
Sprinkle in tabasco to taste (liberally if you're me)
 Serve in toasted pittas and enjoy

If you're not dairy free, please add a load of good, strong grated cheddar. Just don't tell me how good it tastes. Please. 

I know some people might consider eggs to be dairy, but our paediatrician is happy for us to continue eating them for now.

Fenugreek tea - one way to help with your milk supply

I know I said I'd post this ages ago, but... well, just new baby really.

As I mentioned previously because of a premature birth, emergency caesarean section and being separated from Harry directly after the birth, it took ages for my milk to come in. Distressingly so. Harry was fed by naso-gastric tube during this time, and I felt like a total failure. Breastfeeding was so important to me and it felt at the time like another thing in the list of things I couldn't do right. I can see now that it was ridiculous getting so upset about something that was outside of my control, but - well, hormones.

When my milk did come in (8 days after Harry was born) I needed to increase my supply and once we came home from the hospital I started attending our local breastfeeding support group. Staffed by two amazing midwives and a Breastfeeding counsellor they were awesome. Extolled the virtues of box sets and cake, have a nursing holiday - go to bed, take the baby with you, have lots of skin to skin time and feed feed feed. Hence the box sets and cake.

The recipe for this Fenugreek tea was given to me by the midwives at the Breastfeeding support group. I've changed it a little to make it less startling taste wise. I would also recommend diluting it, by measuring out half a cup into a strong fruit juice. You can also dilute your tea into a mug of hot water, but the flavour is still too strong for me. You see, I fundamentally dislike fenugreek.

The effect of fenugreek on breastmilk is purely anecdotal, however - I have seen results as have other women at our support group. To my eyes, if you're worried about your supply why wouldn't you try it?

Fenugreek tea

2 litres of water
1 tablespoon of dill seeds
1/2 tablespoon fenugreek seeds
1 teaspoon of ajwain (I had to order this from Steenbergs as my local Health food shop didn't stock it)

Fill a large pan up with the water, and add the spices
Bring this to the boil and boil rapidly for 5 minutes
Drain the liquid through a seive or fine colander into a jug or jar
Allow to cool

You should drink 1/2 a cup of the tea daily - either diluted or neat (if you're a braver woman than me).

If you can't find the ingredients for the tea - remember that you can get Fenugreek capsules from Holland & Barrett - 2 capsules, three times a day.

My original post on Breastfeeding is here If you didn't see it when I first posted, do give it a look as it gives more of an overview of my breastfeeding story and other things we did to support me.

If you've liked this post and would like to read more of my new baby adventures - interspersed with cake, naturally. Then please look to your right and follow me on Bloglovin, Facebook Twitter Pinterest or Instagram

Feeding the mummy

One of the things I've noticed since having Harry is just how difficult it is to fit in eating when at home with the baby. Essentially you need food that can be eaten with one hand (as the baby is in the other), is quick to prepare and has minimal fallout. Tell me I'm not the only new mummy who's dusted the baby's head with flakes of pastry, toast crumbs, and the odd grain of rice?

There are some things I've found that make actually fitting eating in easier as well as some foods that are easier to eat.  And not just chocolate digestives!

• Chop things like veggies up into bite size pieces the night before - either once the baby's in bed or when you can hand him over to your husband/ partner. This serves two functions, if you can just grab a bowl out of the fridge then you've got snacks ready.
• Mini babybel (other small cheeses are available) Again, can be grabbed and eaten one handed. And yes, I know that I could chop cheese up, but it's something else to remember to do. And I just chopped those veggies, remember? Its time for bed now. I particularly like pairing them with an apple.
• Ritz crackers, again grab and go. also see cereal bars (I like the Naked ones)
• If your partner (or you) are doing packed lunches then double up and pop it in the fridge. Sandwiches work best cut into quarters. Lettuce is pointless unless you want to give the baby a hat.

• Leftovers - make (or get someone else to make) extra dinner. Flasks are your friend: tea, leftover pasta (not spaghetti) soup, coffee. Oh coffee. All stay hot, so you can fill it during a nap and if your lunch falls during a feed you're sorted. Because it does, it always does.
• A sports bottle. I mentioned this in my previous post about breast feeding,  but it's really true. I wouldn't refill a glass as frequently as I would need to, but a bottle keeps !e going long enough so I stay hydrated.
• Fruit - I either chop up fruit so its in pieces (I learnt this when working in Dementia services: people are more likely to eat fruit that's in pieces as opposed to whole. If you squeeze a lemon over it you get that Haribo sourness as a bonus (just me then)

• Cake. It's a given but it never hurts to state the obvious.
• And if all else fails: chocolate digestives

Feeding the baby: 5 foodie tips to help with your breastmilk supply

Harry and I had a tricky start on the breastfeeding front - as he was in NICU we weren't able to have an immediate attempt at feeding after he was born (first 6 hours are recommended) that would have been important in order to stimulate my milk supply. On the morning after he was born Mark found me on the post natal ward sobbing as I had no idea what to do in order to feed my baby as he was somewhere else in the building and I couldn't get there as I was still full of epidural and spinal block from the emergency c section. . And no one to help me do it either. Fortunately Mark wheeled me to NICU where the staff were only too happy to help and I was provided with a breast pump, steriliser and bottles to start expressing. Great I thought, (only no one told me I wouldn't have anything to express at that point - there was me expecting it just to happen...) and so started our journey to establish breastfeeding.

I'm really lucky now - well part of me's lucky and the other part has worked bloody hard to get a milk supply that's established enough for Harry to start putting on weight. I'm lucky because of the support I've had - a good friend who knows what she's doing, rocked up at the hospital with fruit, nipple shields and photocopied explanations of what we were going to do. I was instructed to eat plenty, drink lots and keep on expressing. And my friend sat with me, distracted me, and kept me going - because it wasn't easy. I expressed, I tried to feed, I fed, I slept, I ate, I drank all the water and I started the whole shebang again. And nearly fifteen weeks on it's getting much easier but my milk supply has needed some help so I just thought I'd note down some foodie things we've found helpful in increasing my milk:

• Fenugreek - God I hate this stuff, I won't use it when I'm cooking currys because I can just smell it everywhere for ever. However, in capsule form (I got mine from Holland and Barrett) it's a great supplement to help with breast milk - 2 capsules, 3 times a day. And if you swallow them quickly you can't taste them. 
• Fenugreek water - half a cup a day of the recipe in tomorrow's post (I dilute it in strongly flavoured juice as it's really strong tasting)
• Oats - porridge, Hobnobs, flapjacks, Orange barley water.
• Lots of fluids - I have a sports bottle that is permanently full or being drunk from so about to be refilled. I have no idea how much water I'm drinking a day, but lots is a good estimation
• EAT - largely healthy, but factor in treats also - but mainly just eat. You need to, otherwise milk production will suffer, and I just wouldn't have the energy to feed at all. It's tiring. Amazing, but tiring. 
• Don't be afraid to ask for help. And keep asking. I ask everyone if my latch is OK. I get Harry weighed at every opportunity. And I keep going to breastfeeding group. Tenacity and stubborness are good skills. 

I'm not a breastfeeding specialist, and this is just my experience, but these things were helpful for me and I hope they're helpful for you. If you have any other food based suggestions of ways to support breastfeeding, why not add them in the comments.