The lighter side of being an allergy mum: 10 things I now know

 I've been an 'allergy mum' for a little over 2 years, and in that time we've dealt with what feels like so much. However - and no one prepares you for this - it just keeps coming. Things to learn, to teach Harry to manage himself (and that's a whole post in itself), new allergens, attitudes of others - be they people who mean well, or people who just don't get it. And I don't think at that appointment on the 25th November 2014 I really understood that. It was such a relief to have a diagnosis that didn't involve me being a rubbish mum that it didn't cross my mind that this was something that was going to continue growing far, far beyond excluding dairy and soya from my diet. That sounds terrible doesn't it? But aside from supporting Guides with food allergies (which I always took seriously - but, as we oh so often joke, I get to give them back at 8.30pm) I had really had no idea of the road we were heading down.

Anyway, I thought today I'd post a slightly tongue in cheek view of what we've encountered and learned thus far...

1. Cutlery, crockery, glassware, sippy cups - HOW many do you go through? I've always been hot on food hygiene, but me and potential cross contamination are not friends. Everything gets washed in the dishwasher on the hot setting. Chopping boards, knives, wooden spoons and spatulas all head that way if I'm in the least bit unsure. Whilst most of what we have in the house is safe - M and I do have dairy ourselves, more often than not, when Harry's not around. With the exception of milk in tea that is, no alternative milk has ever managed to make a proper cuppa.

2. There is nothing more likely to have me demonstrate my (non existent) athleticism, hurdling chairs and toys at playgroup in a bid to remove a stray biscuit from Harry's line of sight. Not a drop of grace is present in any of my limbs as I fling myself between Harry and the offending objects. And while we're talking about that...

3. Food in soft play, playgrounds etc. How often I want to be wildly unreasonable, and remove biscuits, chocolate, pretty much anything gripped in another toddler's sweaty paws before they're allowed to smear or spread said item around the play area. I know it's unreasonable, I do, I really do. But sometimes it would be nice to just be able to relax a bit.

4. It's not just nut allergies! From our standpoint - schools, nurseries, playgroups etc... all 'get' nut allergies. Which is awesome. If you have a nut allergy. We don't. Add to which a non-instant, reaction and I feel a bit like my explanations are falling on deaf ears.

5. People don't always have just one one food allergy. Lady in the cafe it's great that you can cater for someone who has either a dairy, egg, soya, strawberry or sesame allergy. But we have them all, and you can't do that. Which is fine, but then let me give my son his packed lunch.

6. And while we're at it a gluten free option is fabulous - it's not the same as a dairy free one! Which is also not the same as a lactose free one, although I'll let you have that as they're so similar.

 7. There are some fabulous sources of calcium that aren't dairy based - but sardines and kale aren't up on Harry's favourite food lists - of course they aren't, why would they be?! So I spend hours on the internet, with recipe books, and pottering around in the kitchen trying to find palatable ways of hiding foods that will help him. It's not that he's a particularly fussy eater - he's just a toddler and if the day has a y in it, he'll find something different that's not being eaten today, despite being last week's food of choice. Peas, I'm looking at you.

8. The trials of allergy testing - in our PCT, until the age of 3, allergies are tested via so called 'Challenges' - you either try your child on something with a small amount of said allergen in, and build up to foods with greater quantities of that allergen. Basically, as a mother, I get to potentially give my child a food I spend most of the rest of my time avoiding for him, in order to challenge his allergy. There is little I enjoy less.

9. And I know I'm going to alienate a HUGE amount of people here, but some of those food writers- you know the ones, heavy on the use of buzzwords like wellness, clean eating, healthful and nourishing - who talk about intolerances because dairy makes them a bit bloated, or gluten is acidic, or sugar the devil... whatever the current default is. Those people make life SO hard for anyone with an actual food allergy by making them seem faddy and in turn making others take them less seriously. As soon as you see the heavenwards glance, the unsubtle eye roll, the sigh of despair when asking if there's soya in bread, it's time to leave. Because whilst you know it'll give your toddler eczema that bleeds through his pyjamas, projectile vomiting and nappies like something out of The Exorcist - that's not what people think of any more. And I know that some people have found a more balanced lifestyle following that kind of eating, but for us and so many families like us food allergies aren't about posting heavily edited photos of us doing headstands in the golden morning light. It's so that we don't see our child writhing in pain, we don't watch them come up in the hives that we're told can precede anaphylaxis, we don't want to have to prop their cot up so that the burning acid reflux stays in their tummy.

Well that one wasn't so lighthearted was it. Oops.

10. And the combination of pride, sadness and confidence when your toddler can say no to a biscuit because it might make him "poorly" or tells a friend he can't have "sova, mik, 'trawberries,egg" For me, that moment was at once heartbreaking and reassuring. And he can also now tell you that if Mummy gets bitten by a bee she needs her epi-pen.

And much like my post on 10 things I've learned in 21 months of breastfeeding, I couldn't just leave this at 10...

11. Having said all of the above - the utter joy at an evening on Pinterest discovering wonderful recipes (that you may or may not ever make) that are safe for your child is wonderful. The moments when you can tell that the allergen has finally left their system and finally breathe a sigh of relief. The weigh ins at the baby clinic when you're told that your tot has finally put on weight, or is finally tracking a centile line. The joy of finding a safe food or recipe that your child inhales. The relief when a mum from NCT or a playgroup leader goes out of their way to be inclusive and ensure there's a safe alternative to whatever food the other children are eating. There is a litany of small moments that as an allergy mum bring me joy, restore my faith in other people and make this whole journey we're on seem manageable, feel less isolating, and give me the confidence to keep on keeping on.

I'm adding this post to Free From Fridays this week, over at Le Coin de Mel

Meal Planning Monday: baking central

It's Monday evening and I've just sat down to write my meal planning Monday post. Which isn't a good start really. That said, I knew at 7am this morning what I would be having for dinners this week so it's not too much of a crisis.

It's another truncated week in the pantry, but to make up for that I seem to have squeezed as much baking as possible into this evening - not only a brilliant stress reliever (sleepless night last night and very busy at work) but also productive too.

I do have a veg box coming tomorrow, but whilst most of the fruit will be comandeered to come with me to Poole, the veg will be left in the fridge, awaiting a more domestic week next week.

Also this weekend I received a fantastic box of freefrom goodies from Sainsburys, Mark is taste testing the coffee and walnut slices in his packed lunches, and as yet his only comment is that they're 'too small' which is clear praise. Next week I'm going to try the bagels (and will be treating myself to some smoked salmon and cream cheese to really enjoy them as they're meant to be).

So, after four hours of sleep, seven hours at work, 50mg sumatriptan, too many tastes of golden syrup, one evening, two parkins made and baked, one cottage pie, an exploding potato and Herman being fed - what does my meal plan look like?

Monday: leftover roast beef, baked potatoes, carrots, sweetcorn and broccoli

Tuesday: Cottage pie (made with the rest of the roast beef) and topped with some of our homegrown potatoes, cooked and mashed with their skins on, with brocolli and sweetcorn

We'll also be making Herman the leaven into cake tomorrow. Herman is a German friendship cake (much like the Amish friendship bread I made some time ago) leaven that was given to me as a thank you by my upstairs neighbour for her iced buns last week. We're going down the traditional apple route tomorrow, then will give away one and I'm going to experiment on the last batch and try and turn it into a sourdough leaven like Mabel.

Wednesday - Thursday I'll be working away.

Friday & Saturday we'll be visiting Mark's parents and I'll be lining up another first for the blog - Christmas pudding! I'm already excited!

So that's my week in the pantry, be sure to pop over to At Home with Mrs M to see what everyone else is up to

Moving too fast

Photos above are anything and everything food related from my phone, as the camera is at my Mum's - a peril of being without permanent abode I'm afraid!

Once again I find myself compelled to start with an apology for a gap in writing. It's not that I've not been cooking, far from it - but circumstances seem to conspire against me being settled, and able to cook, write and post on a regular basis.

To explain further, shortly after mine and Jess' enchilada extravaganza, my ex-flatmate decided that she wanted to live by herself. Which is fine. But put me under pressure to find somewhere new to live in my local area at a time when there was (and is) just little movement in the rental market. Obviously as regular readers are aware, I need to balance my needs as a disabled woman with ensuring continuity for my Guides and Brownies, and of course I work in the Public Sector at a time when there is less job security than ever. Not a good combination with trying to find somewhere new to live, continuing to be productive in my job, and volunteering. So life has not been easy, I have been travelling the length and breadth of London on a regular basis, carrying my life on my back (I know! Bad plan for starters) with most of my possessions in that vague, uncertain place known as 'storage'. My favourite roasters, utensils, plates and cups, all packed away in copies of the Metro and taken away in a lorry.

Anyway, I haven't been as unfortunate as that suggests, I have a lovely boyfriend, who puts up with my need to completely take over his kitchen on a regular basis, and who in actual fact reminded me this morning that I needed to write something for here. My mum has turned a blind eye (and surprisingly, eaten) much of what I've turned out in her (far nicer than anything I'm used to) kitchen, including encouraging me to make the trifle for the Christmas dinner - more on this later too. Hopefully.

So, with support and help I'm getting along. As with many people with a long term condition my health has been seriously affected by the uncertainty and change I've been coping with. Regular seizures, a horrible bout of flu, and sinusitis have kept me indoors and largely aleep since November. Whilst I live in eternal hope of healthy stability, I'm also developing some patience (anyone who follows me on twitter and who is party to my frequent rages/ grumps/ whining about my health can roll their eyes here) with my health and trying to expect less of myself, and judge myself less harshly. Interestingly, with support I'm learning to rest more, to let other people pick up things and not try to do everything myself. It's hard to admit that as a young woman you need support but I'm getting there. It's interesting the lack of support that is available from the Public and Voluntary sectors in these economic times, and the expectation from Adult Social Care that friends and family will act as unpaid, unsupported carers just because one's needs are 'moderate. Although how 'moderate' and homeless sit together I will never understand!

Anyway, before I get up on my soapbox - naturally an adapted one ;-) - I'll tell you a little bit about my foodie exploits these past months. If that's OK?

Well we've had 2 pack holidays with the Brownies, and have done lots of cooking - the usual baking, but also from scratch meals as well. The girls universally enjoyed cooking 'normal' meals as well as fairy cakes, caramel shortbread, and 'armpit' fudge. I'm without camera at the moment but will endeavour to add that post later this week.

I've been involved with Sainsburys a little as a part of the launch of their Christmas freefrom range - I was invited to Christmas dinner with some lovely other bloggers and had the pleasure of sampling some lovely gluten and dairy free recipes and products. As well as the Taste the Difference wines and traditional lemonade. Both of which were gorgeous. The evening itself (and the tiramisu I made with the Gluten Free Mrs D were lots of fun, and one of my aims for 2011 is definitely to get involved more in the blogger community.

Sainsburys also sent me some of their Taste the Difference mincemeat to test early in December and I duly made mince pies for my boyfriend's father's birthday. I have to say these went down a treat, and I used up some pastry cases I had lying around after catering my sister's hen do as well as making my own pastry (top tip for pastry for mince pies - use orange juice instead of water to bind). Which does mean my dear readers that I have finally beaten my pastry demons. I am so proud!

Just before Christmas Kavey of Kavey Eats asked on twitter for our Christmas loves and hates, I very honestly admitted that my mother's 70's tastic trifle was a big hate for me, but that I didn't know how to broach that with her. Now I'm pretty sure that my mum doesn't read this (or twitter) but oddly enough she asked me to make the trifle this year, and I was allowed to deter from the typical tinned fruit in jelly, set custard with dream topping affair and make a spiced fruit trifle that wasn't dissimilar to my summer fruit fools last year.

What else is there? Mabel has been sorely neglected of late, so I'm going to give her a good feed tomorrow night, and with any luck (cross your fingers for me that she hasn't expired) and hopefully introduce my boyfriend to the world of leavened bread next weekend.

My skills with leftovers continue - this Christmas my turkey and ham pie spawned a recreation with chicken and leeks that has become a firm favourite in the repertoire. Oh and the addition of a slow cooker to the boyfriend's kitchen equipment has meant that I am casseroling with aplomb and an alarming frequency.

So that's where I am and what I've been up to of late, I hope it doesn't make for too dull reading. I'm hoping that 2011 has some stability in store for me, not least as I have a kind of plan in my head that would allow me to extend my cooking adventures out to a wider audience , but I'm not sure how one goes about making a job/ business out of what we love. Advice, mentoring and guidance is gladly received at this stage as my capacity for thought in a head that's full of flatshares, what's in my rucksack, and planning a Guide holiday that I've faithfully promised them yet utterly failed to organise!